i’m glad i gave you an early birthday present.
happy birthday <3
May 31st, 2013
April 28th, 2013
saddest story.
so this happened twice in my life.
i was sick one time, i was in high school back then.
i was hospitalized for the ten days.
the second time was maybe three weeks after i got out, i ended up having to be hospitalized again.
i might shpuld have stayed longer, but after approximately 4 days, i asked my mom to got me out of the hospital, no i was begging to go home.
in the end i was being hospitalized in my home for three days.
the sad story was, in total of two weeks i was beng hospitalized, not even one of my friends showed up.
not even one.
so there it go.
:)
April 26th, 2013
as i drive home, i think it’s a little blur, so i put my glasses on, and it becomes foggy.
i can’t see very clearly, the tears keeps coming out.
i’m trying not to complain about such small things that’s happening.
but damn, i used to love fridays.
April 25th, 2013
the starting line.
i had an accident lastnight.
nothing severe really, but my motorcyle wasn’t that lucky.
i took a long pause to actually realize what was happening.
i could’ve died.
i can’t really keep my head straight these past few days.
but when a douchebag teenager hit me with her car, and i fell to the hard black concrete, my past just come glimpsing through my brain.
of things that i wish i could’ve done differently.
of regrets that i can’t fix.
i couldn’t even put it together, i had my parents to pick me up off the street. just couldn’t walk out of it.
i shouldn’t be joking about life.
and yet there i was, before it happened, mumbling about such minor things.
when i should’ve been thankfull for the air i breath, the food i eat, and the life that i owe God.
wasn’t planning to exaggerate this, but it gave a very huge impact for me.
how it could be the last text massage you got from me, the last time we talk, the last time we met, do you even remember?
but it maked me realize, i shouldn’t be clinging to these old memories when i’m the only one who’s keeping it. wasting a lifetime for wanting things i couldn’t have.
so this is where i’ll start.
i had an accident today, i’m sorry i didn’t die.
April 19th, 2013
“i’m sorry i don’t understand, where all this is coming from.
i thought we were fine, your head is running wild again
my dear, we still have everything and its all in your mind
i never stopped, you’re still written in the scars on my heart
just a second, we’re not broken just bent and we can learn to love again.”
-pink-
March 11th, 2013
you know that time when you want to throw away all the things that connect you to him/her, but you just can’t, so you put it in a box and put it in the attic or somewhere you wont see again?
well, if i ever decide to put all the things about us away, i might need a whole house and a warehouse.
cause there’s just too much of you.
March 7th, 2013
“gantungkan cita-citamu setinggi langit”
itu kata Soekarno,
seolah-olah beliau sudah tau,
ia meminta kita menggantungkan cita-cita kita dilangit.
pada langit yang tidak tergapai.
agar kapanpun kita dapat menengadah dan memandang cita-cita yang tidak terwujud.
mungkin, sejak awal beliau sudah tau, bahwa cita-cita itu hanya untuk digantung dan dipandangi, pada langit yang tidak tergapai.
February 22nd, 2013
Did you know, you can quit your job, you can leave university? You aren’t legally required to have a degree, it’s a social pressure and expectation, not the law, and no one is holding a gun to your head. You can sell your house, you can give up your apartment, you can even sell your vehicle, and your things that are mostly unnecessary. You can see the world on a minimum wage salary, despite the persisting myth, you do not need a high paying job. You can leave your friends (if they’re true friends they’ll forgive you, and you’ll still be friends) and make new ones on the road. You can leave your family. You can depart from your hometown, your country, your culture, and everything you know. You can sacrifice. You can give up your $5.00 a cup morning coffee, you can give up air conditioning, frequent consumption of new products. You can give up eating out at restaurants and prepare affordable meals at home, and eat the leftovers too, instead of throwing them away. You can give up cable TV, Internet even. This list is endless. You can sacrifice climbing up in the hierarchy of careers. You can buck tradition and others’ expectations of you. You can triumph over your fears, by conquering your mind. You can take risks. And most of all, you can travel. You just don’t want it enough. You want a degree or a well-paying job or to stay in your comfort zone more. This is fine, if it’s what your heart desires most, but please don’t envy me and tell me you can’t travel. You’re not in a famine, in a desert, in a third world country, with five malnourished children to feed. You probably live in a first world country. You have a roof over your head, and food on your plate. You probably own luxuries like a cellphone and a computer. You can afford the $3.00 a night guest houses of India, the $0.10 fresh baked breakfasts of Morocco, because if you can afford to live in a first world country, you can certainly afford to travel in third world countries, you can probably even afford to travel in a first world country. So please say to me, “I want to travel, but other things are more important to me and I’m putting them first”, not, “I’m dying to travel, but I can’t”, because I have yet to have someone say they can’t, who truly can’t. You can, however, only live once, and for me, the enrichment of the soul that comes from seeing the world is worth more than a degree that could bring me in a bigger paycheck, or material wealth, or pleasing society. Of course, you must choose for yourself, follow your heart’s truest desires, but know that you can travel, you’re only making excuses for why you can’t. And if it makes any difference, I have never met anyone who has quit their job, left school, given up their life at home, to see the world, and regretted it. None. Only people who have grown old and regretted never traveling, who have regretted focusing too much on money and superficial success, who have realized too late that there is so much more to living than this.
January 4th, 2013
happy new year.
happy new year.
happy and a new year.
the congrats sometimes kind of pinch me. like, you should be happy because it’s new year.
does everybody really feel happy?
i mean really?the celebrations, the fireworks, the drinks, all of it because of a new year.
i think a happy new year as a simple expression of relieve.
cause no matter how worse can a year be, you made it through it.
a happy new year is not a celebration of welcoming a new start, its a celebration for being able to last until the year ends.
2012, for me, is the hardest year of all.
but i made it through.
*hari kelima bulan Januari 2013, semua masih tampak sama. saya tak mengaharapkan apapun tahun ini. saya cukup senang telah melewati 2012.
December 3rd, 2012
jarak itu penting. jarak tidak suka dianggap remeh.
ada hal-hal yang terbatasi karena jarak.
ada kesalahpahaman yg timbul karena jarak.
kata tak tersalurkan dengan benar jika hanya ditulis dalam pesan singkat.
niat tak tersampaikan dengan benar jika hanya diutarakan dalam suara telepon.
ada yang hilang ketika mata tak bertemu mata.
air mata tak bisa diseka, tubuh tak bisa dipeluk, sedih tak mampu terbagi.
untuk maaf yang tak pernah cukup, untuk kita yang tak lagi saling mengerti, jika ini jalan yang kamu rasa paling tepat, maka selamat jalan.
:)
